Dependence/dependability is like a trust fall. Like in a trust fall, someone is there to catch you; reliability is just like that. When you need help, you can fall back on your parents. Having someone on whom you can depend gives you the confidence to take risks and increase your speed. Parents only want their kids to do well in life, and as a stepping stone, they will help you for however long you need.
Helping a child too much is harmful as they would not be able to “stand up on their own feet.” Just like how kids fall, get hurt, but get back up and try to take that first step. They should try and do things on their own. Children should be helped when they ask for it. Planning together and discussions is another beautiful way to support the child. However, too much monitoring and correcting is not the same as support and scaffolding.
Parents tell their children that they will always support them and come to them for help. However, it improves the parent-children relationship in the present and near future, but as they grow up to become adults, this “falling back” on parents for help becomes a habit, and they would be scared to take that extra step to do things on their own.
That’s often the case when you find yourself turning to them for every little thing. Need groceries? Raid your parents’ fridge. Need help with rent? Pick up the phone. Of course, this is the perk of being part of a family, and there’s nothing wrong with having a close relationship with your mom and dad. But there is a big difference between a healthy relationship and one that is kind of clingy and dependent. It’s lucky to have dependable parents, but it isn’t fit to depend on parents for long.
“There’s so much out here in this world, and there is no set roadmap to get to where you’re supposed to be,” says NYC-based life coach Taylor Carrington in an interview with Bustle. “So out of habit, we lean on what’s familiar and comfortable to escape — our parents.”
Here are some ways you can try and become a little more independent:
If the relationship between you and your parents is clingy, try and take some time out, get some distance. Try and do little things on your own for a bit. Try not to pick up your phone and call your parents for everything.
2. Own your decisions:
There are some decisions you need to ask your parents about or at least discuss. But try to make crucial decisions on your own. Lay down the pros and cons by yourself, and if you think you need extra input, your folks can give their points as well.
3. Search for Independent Friends:
Make friends with independent people. This will help you gain perspective. These friends will become your support group, and you will slowly become less dependent on your parents.
4. Take money matters into your own hands:
Yes, taking help from your parents for initial support is fine. But you have to put in that extra effort not to get habituated. You need to work hard and pay your expenses. Falling back on your folks for help will only make you lazy and affect your long term progress. When you work hard to get the money, you will understand the value, save it, and make more.
5. Start Banking early:
Making investments, taking loans and drawing money will be hard at first but make sure you do them yourself. Take an education loan for your masters’. As the liability to pay it off falls on you, you get more responsible and serious.
The process is slow, but it will indeed work. It will benefit you long term and also help you gain better professional skills.
The team of NovoLeaders conducted a fun-filled activity with their students for Independence Day. The students were given thirteen topics to choose from, make a video, write a blog, narrate a story, or give a speech.
The students delivered so well. Many spoke about healthy habits and lifestyle changes after realising junk’s adverse effect on the body.
Avantika Nair, an 8th-grade student, discussed how a balanced diet is essential for our long and healthy life. She also went on to explain how junk might be tastier, but it’s incredibly unhealthy. Watch Here
She said, “Doing exercises or other sports activities (which we all love) is also extremely important for leading a healthy lifestyle.”
Adhrit Pradeep also talked about leading a healthy lifestyle and why it is crucial. Watch him here.
He said, “My grandparents have diabetes, which made me realise how important it is to maintain a healthy diet. I exercise and sleep as required to maintain a healthy body. We as a family apply sunscreen and stay protected from the harmful diseases that are caused by the harmful UV rays.”
He added, “We have cut down on overeating salt, sugar and fatty foods to avoid heart diseases, diabetes, etc.”
Some of the other children spoke about money and piggy banks as well.
Pratiyush Sukhadhane beautifully described his yellow smiley piggy bank, which he uses to save his money. Watch her here.
He said, “I put the small coins that we get back as change in the piggy bank. When we go out shopping and my parents pay, I take the change and put it in my piggy bank. I only spend money from the piggy bank only during emergencies. I avoid spending money on snacks and sweets.”
A student named Anushka Pradhan talked about how vital daily affirmations are for a positive outlook on life. Watch her here.
She said, “saying I am the best student and child brings a sense of confidence and a positive mindset.”
She also added,” positivity is key to living life. It has the power to make every day better and count.”
As Parents, it is important to provide the safety net for children to feel safe as they take risks and let them face the consequence of their choices and actions.
As children, it is crucial to seek advice and learn from parents’ experience and create the appetite to make decisions, take risks, and face its consequences.
Next Blog: Independence Myth or Reality?
11 Tips For Relying Less On Your Parents As An Adult|Carolyn Steber